Waves of silence crashed against my brain; the opaque foamy water blocking any thoughts. A strong wind; a deep breath and my mind began to clear.

I found my finger tapping furiously and insistently on the table, my face tensed; a stone wall extruding no emotions of exhaustion and frustration, hidden from the man standing in front of me.

“What is this bullshit? I left specific instructions that …” his voice trailed off along with any other meaningless thoughts.

I don’t know and I don’t care.

“Don’t worry Richard, everything is under control,” I lied whilst trying to put on a fake smile, “just let me sort everything out.”

Please go away now.

“I don’t want it like this. I don’t want this rubbish on the ground.”

Are you even listening to what I’m saying?

 “Yes Richard, everything will be taken care of.”

Please go away.

“I want it cleared. Everything, gone.”

“Okay, everything cleared”

Go away!

“This place, has be professional looking, people can’t just walk in here and see this crap lying everywhere.”

“Everything will be done as you like, it will be cleared and sorted, professional looking.”

GO AWAY!

Richard seemed to sigh and grow more contempt as he surveyed the area, as if I had just crashed his favourite car. Then without another word, he left back into the classroom. I exhaled and my wall crumbled, revealing only frustration.

I glanced at my watch: 9:07am. With 9 hours 53 minutes to go, I sat down, resting my head on the desk, my eyes closed. I let the darkness engulf me as once again that question of doubt resurfaces.

Why am I still here?

I stop breathing.

Okay, it seems to me that getting to the point of where I start sweating when I'm eating seems to be a bit excessive and the angina sure isn't helping as well.

So starting today, I am recording here, I will try and lose some weight. Or at least gain some muscle. While I'm at it, I might as well get rid of that bloody acne problem and a bad case of morning br/death.

Motivational wise, I shall start putting demotivational postits everywhere, probably with "you're a fat loser" "lose some weight fatty" or "fatty fat fat fat fat". It'll either send me Spiraling - Keane; into depression and.....maybe i'll stop eating....or i'll actually do something about it.

Plan for each day:
Morning
2x 30 Pushups
2x 15 situps
2x 30 Squats
1km run

.....and we'll see how we go with that :/

and prob 20 pushups before each meal, 50 pushups before each snack, 20 pushups before each anime/tv ep, 50 pushups before each movie.

Current Limit: 40 Pushups, lets increase that by (1/n)*10 per week where n is the number of weeks

The morning's already gone....so I guess i'll start tomorrow ^^

FUCK YOU WEIGHTLOSS ADS! >:(

Alright. It has been a while and there are some stuff that i want to write down. So bare with me, James, for this is going to take a chuck of time to write, and since i've ran out of HIMYM i've obviously got nothing better to do.

The semester has been one crazy ride, meeting new people, meeting more new people, failing physics....ahhh

So where to begin?

Lets see...how about, the start:

So what happened happened, but in the end i'd still like to bitch to spud every now and then and use the excuse as a trump card cause he made me spend an extra 275 on books that i didn't need.
Thanks spud. Thanks for making me do jap for half a week. Thanks for making me lose 2 lab marks. But lets just say that it was a fun experience and leave it at that.
So, what was an engineering/commerce student doing, studying jap? Well spud thought we could cause we've got electives and monkey see and monkey do. We didn't. Well I'm not going down that road again.

I asked a girl out and obviously that didn't go out too well. I still feel all emo inside now (sheesh i should move on)...and i very awkward inside every time I'm near her. Well i'd rather not go down that road again.

Next I remember the better half of getting trashed. It was awesome, I have no idea what happened that made me feel like shit....OH YEAH I DO...my parents found out and made a bitch about it. Well I'm not going down that road again...well at least not going home straight afterwards. (Seriously, peter parker's guardians didn't give two shits when he went to bed...oh i don't know...at 5 pm) (Sigh yesyes i know i know i'm comparing myself to a fictitious setting)

Come ALA the mid big tests and STRESS STRESS STRESS i faileded physics...bummer...shoulda done the retest...OH WELL. Lets not go down that road again. WILL STUDY NEXT SEM! That's future james' problem :]

Holidays! WOO, visited rhys in canberra with a road trip with nic. Awesome fun. We (well nic) almost ran over a pedestrian and red light (i saved the day :D). We got lost when leaving Goldbern and ending going back to Sydney whence we took the first exit which lead down a dark and eerie path, to a dead end. We almost ran over a fox (the fox was evil, eyes full of poison). In the end i think it was the high beams that saved the day. That's when we found out that you can make a right turn on the highway and head back to canberra....where we almost got ran over by a truck...
On the way back, the only thing worth mentioning was that we played Fuck the Police on max volume and rolled all of our windows down. Oh and we say sky divers :D they were a

I'm racking my brains right now for things that are worth mentioning and nothing really comes to mind. So i'll just mention all the little things that helped me pass the days at uni, otherwise i might have spiraled out of control and killed myself (lol i'd never do that...)

Shout outs! (in order of sexual preference....i mean, no particular order)
To spud: thanks for being a great everything-buddy, the semester wouldn't have been half as fun without you.
To toby: my short lived jap-buddy, those few days were fun
To sean: my awesome comp1911 tut, you're in america now wowowowow, the course wouldn't have been half as awesome without you.
To greg: you are an awesome guy, life wouldn't have been half as awesome without you
wow that kinda makes me sound gay >.>
To katherine: thanks for being my physbuddy, i don't think i coulda gotten the marks without you :P (oh it was awesome fun as well)
To caroline and amanda: that night working on the comp assignment wouldn't have been possible without you two.
To annie, nick, jessie, alex, jen, danny, vivien, wilson, sam, neeraj, imraan, quentin, tofu, brian, norla, anya, adrian, daryl, jess, josh, mandy, samtam, bin, xoph, captn davo, tim, david, scott, chris, rod, rhys, nic and everyone else that i haven't thanked but deserves however won't be getting it cause i've got shit memory: Thanks for being my friend. You guys are awesome.

JT: "I wana get drunk"

In retrospect, I guess that it possibly wasn't the best or smartest thing to say. But in the end, my other escapee, spud, helped me and together we bought a half litre bottle of Green Fairy Absynth.

The plan was to drink until i'm drunk and... well in a way I guess I succeeded and in another way, I failed.
( Photos and not so detailed recounts after the cut! )

Wow, 5 weeks no entries. I guess that's a good thing?

I'll make it brief cause the only reason why i'm making a post is because of what i did today.

Me n spud decided to have a pounder. That's right. A pounder from mcdonalds. 1 pound of meat. 4 patties. 4 slices of cheese.


$10.15


personally i don't think it was all that. I mean i had it and it wasn't like 'omg! i'm going to vomit' after eating it. It was just satisfying i guess...well not even that, I was hungry so i ate it really quickly and what was running through my mind afterwards was "I could go for another one" i think my stomach was telling a different story though.

The monster had 4 layers of meat and cheese and man...the cheese it was disgusting 'sweaty cheese' we named it and then the oil would drip onto spud's hands (i'm a clean eater) leaving him smelling like sweaty cheese for the rest of the day.

He didn't even finish his...said he'd die if he took another bite...so i helped him :D

So my opinion? 10.15 for a friken burger? that's a rip, and it wasn't even that delicious. Don't try it unless Ian's going to buy you another one.

BTW i was exaggerating about the cheese, this was what we were refering to:
http://supersizedmeals.com/food/article.php/20060125050438458

(and the main reason why we wanted to try this)

Alright so with the aim of me losing weight in sight, my mum dragged me to Circuit Training. I don't know why you call it that, do you go around a circuit? No. It's more like aerobics...so i don't know why they just don't call it aerobics.

Well i went last week and I basically died half way through. In the eyes of the instructors "I almost collapsed".

We started off with a warm up few laps back and forth, when i found something hard pushing against my toes. Thinking it was a rock i took off my shoe and tried pulling it out. When i put my hand into the it felt like a bushy shrub. Pulled and pulled until finally something came loose. I looked at my hand.

To find something that looked like green miniture baseball bat with spikes on the smaller end. I carefully stole a glance into the shoe, to find it's owner. A cricket.

My mind screamed "HOLY FRICKEN CRAP!" while i turned the shoe upside down and shook and smashed as hard as i can against the ground. It popped out.

I was so horrified that i didn't dare touch it or put on my shoe again. Thankfully my mum saved me and kicked it again.

...I still didn't want to put on my shoe.

Well. To sum it up, SAD SAD SAD.

Acting was very well done. Story was well written. Great balance of humor and sorrow.

I'd have to say that my favorite character was the father, always doing the outrageous actions. It was thanks to his humor that made the series really enjoyable for me. Without him the series definitely would have been empty...ier. But still the raw emotion that he sometimes emits.

AND OMG THE MUSIC

although uber repetitive, it was really good. cued in, in the perfect times

sigh...ZOMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG SAD T.T

"I hope that one day I will become a writer. Or at least write. Cause in my honest opinion, I have some of the best ideas ever." - this was a draft from 12 weeks ago, I remember that i was supposed to be writing a story from an idea of mine...but now i can't even remember it.

12 Weeks, it has been a long time. Lots has changed..No wait. It hasn't.

Lots of things has stayed the same. Mainly my attitude towards life. Pessimistic. I'm still lazy and I'm still not motivated to exercise. So much for New Years Resolution.

...and I'm still bad with tenses
( A Detailed and LONG account of NYE and NYD )
*Back to the present*
In retrospect, I doubt anything was as bad as I imagined. Except for the sunburns. The sunburns are bad. Bad bad bad :/

My face has started peeling skin. It's so disgusting =.=" and the new skin is like 4 shades lighter.

EVERYONE, NEVER FORGET! SUNSCREEN.

No luck with k's bet, i think i gained 5kgs....

paid off s's bet (pankakes were delicious)

rix owns me 2 pankakes ^^ bets that if he gets above 89 for phys he'll buy me lunch

own supudo lunch (at a jap place)

J's bet: whoever gets higher in hsc buys loser lunch and loser owns winner a favour

V's bet: if we both get above 90uai (uhhhhh.....) she buys me lunch

Pallav's bet: whoever gets higher in hsc buys loser lunch

N: owns me the entire world if she gets above 50uai

rj: if you get above 86 i'll buy your lunch

d: whoever gets higher in hsc buys loser lunch

rod: whoever gets higher uai buys loser lunch

anyone else wana make a bet on the results of UAI?

To sum up what I have done for the past 6 years at school: Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated.

Over the course of the past six years, I have had a routine. A routine that, as of now, I wish to keep, forever. When thinking back on the nostalgic memories, I can't help but feel happy and sad at the same time. I'm happy to have witnessed some of the most humorous and ingenious events and experiences imaginably possible for a person of such age. And I'm sad, because I realise that some of this may come to an end.

The daily routine of getting up, skipping breakfast, running off to the bus stop, before realising that I've forgotten the mints and contemplating whether people will notice the smell of arse...And then finding out that I've missed the bus and contemplating whether to go back to get those mints and risk missing the next bus.
Then School. To me, school was just a place to see my friends with an entry fee of studying. I reckon the extremely boring classes might have been worth it. But I'm still contemplating on that.

The weird thing is that, I'm sad that I will be leaving school. Yet why? I won't miss the memories, because they are exactly what the word describes them to be, memories. Memories shouldn't be relived again, otherwise that memory will be meaningless. So I'll stop this sad rant.

Baulkham Hills High School, Baulko07, it's been one hell of an experience. You've been a great stepping stone.

----

On a happier note,
Karl says that he'll buy me lunch if i can lose 5 kilos. So? Help motivate me! I want that free lunch: http://phatinc.traineo.com/

I owe spud a lunch for getting the same mark for english. [and vice versa]

I owe samuel a pancake meal. I beat him in 4u ^^

Eric owes me two pancake meals. For Engo and English or 4u...can't remember.

My family's last chicken is still alive. But right now it's emo and stays in it's little cardboard home, only coming out to shit around.

Today was the Yr12 Picnic, food was delicious, water everywhere.
Tomorrow is the Graduation Ceremony. The End.

This piece of literature, no more like a rant, is a complete work of fiction based off actual factual events.

So now my family has 4 chickens. One day mum just came back from work about 40 mins late with a bunch of 'em.

At first I was thinking "WTF" only to realise that with asian parents it's not surprising at all.

BTW, this was a few weeks ago, and like Big Brother, some have been eliminated.

But fear not! The chicken population in my backyard has since then increased again. My mum upon hearing a friend's friend who needed help disposing of a couple of chooks, decided that it was her duty to help them. So? She dragged me driving into the land of the unknown to help that friend's friend.

I shall forever curse that person.

Anyway, snap back to the present and what do you have? You have one house (thank god our neighbours thought we were too asian and moved out), with 4 chickens.

One even laid an egg. I think my parents will think kindly on this one and save it for later.

On the other hand my mum (who i shall now call 'Kamisama') created a friendship with one of them. It was like a great pet, except it shitted everywhere. This was of course the same for the other three.

Turn week 4 and my backyard is fully of chicken shit. Kamisama, yesterday decided randomly "Lets kill one off".

I fear for their lives (not) and hopefully I will not have to partake in this 'incident'.

It probably won't be the one that Kamisama likes and the one that lays eggs (although chickens only lay eggs under good non-stressful conditions). So that leaves 2.

Check back next week to see which one of them was the weakest link.

Well, this happened a few weeks ago when I pissed off my mum.
And...she stormed out of the house.
Reasons? Mainly because i was treating her disrespectfully (and so the whole commotion was basically my fault).

Okay, fine, let me elaborate, I mocked her, she got pissed, I continued to disrespect her, she complained to my dad who wouldn't help, she threw a lid at me, i grabbed her arm, she smashed the water kettle, and stormed off.

She came back crying and uttered the words "From now on I will not care what you do. You sleep when you want. You eat what you want. If I make the mistake of doing so, i'll hit myself" To which then i could only watch on as she in sync would slap herself on the face to this. At this time, i guess i was sorry, but she also said she didn't want to hear what i said. So i didn't >.>

She stormed off and i was left there in front of my computer interrupted from my engineering assessment, half of me disgusted with the other half for not caring and the other half contemplating whether or not i should hold that promise against her.

Well, so far, after a few weeks, there is still some tension and multiple times when she should of hit herself.

Now that's why in a way i despise my mum. She makes a fuss over the smallest things and she's extremely hypocritical. Take this morning as an example. She asked if I wanted to go out to practice driving, to which i replied "no". Then she would just get pissed and repeatedly lecture me about how she didn't care what I did and in the end that I shouldn't blame her if it's all my fault. Later on, if i asked her for anything she would just say no and bar me.

Which brings me to my conclusion. No mum, I'm not sorry. If you treat me like a 5 year old, I will despise you more and more. Half of me hopes you burn in hell.

Well, it's been ages since i made a [serious] post.

But I've also looked at some of my older posts and I must say some of them are really retarded.
---

And in other news, I just recently finished watching the anime series which i started last year, called Eureka seveN mainly because recently they managed to actually finish subbing all of it. And because I convinced my friend to download it for me.

Unlike others, rewatching it granted access into deeper emotions and concepts that was poured out through the anime. Some bits I completely forgot about and others I remembered vividly and as I have said before, it is one of those anime's that leaves a mark on your memory.


So? that's what i said about it last year.

Has my opinion changed?

Well...no, it hasn't. Rewatching Eureka seveN after a yearlong haitus has be very much enjoyable to me. Finally being able to put it down and say "It's done" gave me a heart warming feeling although it also gave my heart a fright because at that moment, I knew that this great anime is over and that there will be no more AND the ending literally kicked itself up the ass at some moments.

If I said any more, I'd probably be just reiterating myself. So, to any readers out there [hello?] watch it. It's awesome.

Well, it's been ages since i last posted so i feel as if i need to post or something

So here's something i made:

Well as some of you may know (and for the naive) I have some pretty bad acne problems. So?

Well apparently my mum gives a shit more than I do and she does every-single-thing possible to cure it. Jeez, seriously, if someone invented a cure for the common acne, he's be so rich, Bill gates would look like hobo without alcohol.

But apparently, this awesome chinese book which apparently is so amazing (and i can't read chinese therefore i have no evidence that what she says is true or she's just out to get me, ie "lol i can't believe my tard of a son would do it"), that it does infact have a cure for acne. What's the solution?

Yogurt. yup, that's right, yugort, the gooey stuff. And your expecting that I have to eat like 5 containers per day? right?

Wrong. Basically, she mixes it with flour and or honey (damn flies) and she pastes it on my face.
-_________- <-- yes i look like this

Well, the first week of the tests are officially over, and although this is true, i have nothing to be happy about...because on monday, another sequence of tests start.

More than the first week as well!

Here's how i rated my tests in terms of Blahs (short being good, to long being bad)
English - Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Maths 2u - blahhhhhhhhhhh
Maths 3u - Blahhhhhhhhhhhhasdjfalksdjf

I am mainly pissed at the last question for 3u because, i forgot to write lim x->0 and thus couldn't finish the question. GAH...and it was so simplistic if you think about it logically. Overall i think i did pretty CRAP...

Upcoming Tests - (rated preparations in terms of Blahs (short being good, to long being bad))
Engineering - BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Maths 4u- BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Physics - BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Chem - BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Well I've started a new blog over at http://technorants.info.tm and the main purpose is to hopefully make it awesome, so that people will in return earn me some cash by clicking on ads and doing google searchs and clicking on ads *HINT HINT*. But I just hope that it becomes a popular site for new and awesome information. So if you enjoy reading about how the PS3 flopped BIG TIME in Australia, or about the outrageous actions of a court sentencing a black 14 year old girl to prison for shoving someone, head over to http://technorants.info.tm.

So once again the time has come and i just don't know if I'm pessimistic or everyone's just being naive to the truth.

So my birthday was pretty awesome, like last year, i got socks and some money.

*reminiscing from last year*

"WOW! Dad! One Thousand Five Hundred Dollars! Thanks! WOW! I don't know what to spend it on!"
"Yes, happy birthday son, now that money is for your tutorial at james an, and you can keep the rest of the money"

and so it turned out that the james an fees were onethousandfourhundred dollars.

*End*

Wait...i can't remember what i got for my birthday the year before...

I think i did get a bike once...a decade ago...

ENOUGH about the past, this year was pretty awesome, my mum actually wanted to buy me something but she didn't know what to buy *thinks about all the times i've asked her for games*

and then she's like "I give you everything you want!" - I don't ask her for anything in the first place except for games, and then she replies "I'll give you anything but games"

and then she continues her hypocritical "i give my son everything he wants attitude" - sad

Yup...everyone around me is naive, i think i'll go cut myself now

Well instead of doing what i'm supposed to do, i'm, as usual, procrastinating on the hueg interweb when i found something that ...errr..."me likes"

The full article i'm talking about can be read here:
http://www.furisdead.com/feat-joannakrupa.asp?c=fidJKrpblgad
So i was thinking, who the hell is this person and why would someone pose naked to stop people from buying fur? In the end I kinda thought "who cares!"
I mean, there's an extrememly hawt chick out there, going naked just so that it might convince people to stop buying fur. Notice how i said 'might'. Seriously analysing this causes me to debate with reason,
As an example some thoughts that passed through my head involve:
"Who would believe this?" "More?" "She is purty" "Hmmmm, i'd rather BUY MORE fur just so that she'd stay naked"
Of course, just by looking at the pictures we can see she's also wearing jewelery. Now let me expand. The production of jewelery involves some pretty hard slave labour in parts of africa and and asia. It takes slave labour to dig the diamonds/other pretty things, out of the grounds in the first place. It takes slave labour to clean it. It takes slave labour to cut it to the right size. It takes slave labour to make it what we see in stands today.
BUT it takes one person to demoralise all those thousands of slaves AND it takes that one person to make us forget about all the hardships that the slaves have to go through inorder for the jewels to be where they are right now.
But then you'll say that it's the multi-billion dollar corporations that are controlling the slaves in the first place, who's at fault. Of course this is wrong. It is the consumer's fault. The high demand of pretty jewels and such are the source of the problem. If no one wanted jewelery, there'd be no demand, prices would drop, diamonds etc won't be as precious. Of course common misconceptions about the rarity of diamonds is also questionable did you know that the multibillion dollar corporations have huge vaults full of this stuff, releasing tiny amounts at a time?

The hypocrisy of treating animals as if they are better than human beings is just unforgivable!
"“[T]here is nothing sexy about wearing something that is so obviously tied to senseless pain and killing,” says Joanna."
WHAT ABOUT THE HUMAN BEINGS!

Is she a vegetarian? I don't think so! (my logic being no one that well sized can be a vegetarian) HYPOCRISY!
Did she know about the slaughter of 2000 pigs for the diety general in taiwan? http://www.flickr.com/photos/avant1997/sets/72157594493402453/
HUH?! I DON'T THINK SO!
I'm sure i had lots of more points to say, but i can't remember.
(btw I think my tiger costume was made out of fur)

Reminds me of a joke: (unrelated)
A blond was walking to her convertible when it started raining. She said "DAMNIT! the top's open and i left my keys inside!"

This saturday i was at harry's education center, everyone was talking loudly while harry was explaining a question on the board. 4u, what do you expect?
I don't know what was it, whether it was because i just had two bottles of mother (short for motherfucker?), but when this random girl who i didn't know turned around and asked, "am i blocking your view?"
i replied, "Yes"
One problem, i was 3 meters to the side of her.
=.=

have i gotten more and more evil over the years? will i turn out to be like house?
anyway here's a picture of me killing some birds





























yeah....those who believed me?